Even though God revealed himself to be true when I asked “I just want to know that you are there” and found faith, I struggled to trust in the Lord. Through habit and choice, I have always survived in my own strength. To give my life to Christ completely...to live in His strength seemed impossible, crazy. For the last 30 years I have struggled with this and many times wanted to walk away but haven’t been able to because of the truth He gave me of His existence.
I have instead searched, been on many courses, attended bible studies, fellowship and asked many questions. I attended the Living Free Course with this burning in my heart...How can I trust the Lord? Then COVID hit in the middle of the course. I decided in this ‘quiet time’ to examine my journey with Christ. The Living Free Course explained, “Alive in Christ is understanding who we are in Christ with the Spirit.” So I prayed and I asked, ‘who is Christ really?’. I watched the film ‘The Passion’ which was brutal and not for the faint-hearted. It showed me how much Jesus physically suffered. I can only imagine how he suffered emotionally. This told me Jesus understands my fragility and vulnerability. He knows suffering! I read about how Jesus was tempted by Satan and how he denied Satan a foothold. He knew temptation. I reread my notes and bouncing off the page was “Christ is in you.”
Over this quiet time with Jesus, I realised I had come to believe and trust in the Lord. I really can! This has changed my life! It’s like finding a missing piece of the jigsaw. I highly recommend the Living Free Course. Ask yourself, ‘what have you got to lose and so much to gain?’ Let go...God will catch you.
God is love and all who live in love in God and God lives in them. And as we live in God out love grows more perfect. (1 John 4: 16-17).
~ Barbara